Smart Girl Confessions about being in a relationship

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that smart people, smart girls in particular, have a tendency to do pretty stupid things. I’m not talking about purchasing tie-dye fringe tank tops or neon trucker hats with words like “frat” or “rage” on them. I mean real life choices that have long-term emotional effects on their psyche and sense of self-worth.

How can I say that? well, because I am one of them. I am “that girl.” Yes, that girl that, you as a girlfriend, hate because I spend way too much time talking to your boyfriend about trivial daily diatribes and summer blockbusters and maybe even the Mets starting lineup, which you know nothing about because you didn’t even realize Mike Piazza had retired. I strike this fear, this jealousy, because I was here first and I know family birthdays and clothing preferences and which girls they liked well before you came into the the picture. It’s that. But it’s so much more.

I am that girl he was sharing a bed with the night before he went to spend the day with you. I am the one on the phone late at night discussing potential hotel rooms or what we’re going to do to each other when we are together next. Even worse, I am that girl he calls when someone he loves has died and I am that girl he cries to, drunk, talking about how you just will not understand.

I am a smart, intelligent young woman. I did not sign up to be this person. I do not respect what I ‘ve done or the disrespect I ‘ve caused you. I know YOU exist but you do not have any idea that extent of my relationship with him. And he is supposed to be yours. I know this. This wasn’t covered in algebra one or reading comprehension but it was taught in the basics of life and love and do unto others as you wish they would do unto you.

You may ask why. I wish I had a better answer. I have psychoanalyzed and debated with myself. I s it because I want to feel desired? That this person is dissatisfied enough to seek what he needs elsewhere? No, because I know the feeling of being wanted. I t is WAY more special when you are the sole recipient. I s it because I am lonely? Perhaps, but there is no need to stick my hands into a trap so ensnared and slippery.

So people ask. Why waste your time on someone who cannot give you everything you need, everything you deserve. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s his allure. His intelligence, the knowledge that he is so much smarter than you keeps you coming back.

But no. No one this intelligent would string two, maybe three girls along at once. That is foolish. That is asking for a problem that only high school drama queens can even fathom. You even know, deep down, that you could never date him. How could you ever trust someone who has played a girl along for *months*?

So why do I continue? I have the power to walk away. I don’t need his text messages or emails or late night phone calls to feel validated. I know better than this. Get a grip. Back away. I will be the one hurt. I am wise enough to not listen to these lies; I KNOW he will never leave her for me.

Why? Because smart people do stupid things. I am an addict, an emotional cutter. And I am smart enough to know that all it takes is one “hey you” to fall right back down the rabbit hole again. Many partners are using the sms tracker application for not being cheated in a relationship. The application can be download from the given link